How easy it is to undermine people?

Imagine this situation: You were trying your best to peer edit someone’s paper for Math. At the end, when your friend is reviewing your comments, you were said to have a problem with Math because your comments are just plain wrong and you’re just wrong.

It sucks to be on that position: to help and receive not a thank you but an undermining judgement (not even friendly).

 

Take that and reflect.

Expressing

Dancing has always been my first love. Since my kinder days, I was always involved with programs that included body movements. Performing arts centre was my second home. (School is out (though it’s inside school)!) The thing that came next, and now the number 1 is writing. You see, I’m not one of those superbly verbose, literate and smart writers. Presently, I write short stories and my emotional state. Writing is hard. I both love it and struggle in it, but I know that I cannot stop looking for my writing style. I know that someday, I’d perfect a writing piece. I cannot hope for the best now but I can work on it.

Any writers around? Talk to me! 🙂

Do I deserve living at West End?

I’ve always wanted to have a studio-type apartment in an area quite far from us called West End.

That place is a dream for me. The flats, shops, New York-y feel and pretty much everything make me want to move down there.
It is in my lack of fortune though that places like that call for a not-so-student fee. I am broke and stressed with the life that I’m not sure where headed to.

I currently live in a place that’s an hour travel away the city and 45 minutes from university. Here is the spot where crime or rage is usually heard (more likely because of a certain race that’s living here(I strongly disagree with that though because I’ve got a lot of friends from that subclass)). Though it sounds like a bad space, I still feel very at home and comfortable around.

At West End, there are cafes and bakeries too nice and amazing. With all that and a best friend as a roommate, life at West End will definitely be worth it.

The Stripping World

Unlike the cleanest people in the planet, I never get grossed out by strip clubs.

Though in a dark alley where really filthy stripping stuff happens, I never felt like a strip club (generally) is where non-decent people go.

When people think of something to do before they die, usually it’s climb the Mt. Everest or go to the city of gods and be gods too. I had a ‘to work in a strip club’ section in my bucket list. No, I don’t want to be a stripper. I just want a job there.

As a part of my exploratory experience, I tried applying for one that’s an hour away from where I live. Before the interview, I cleared up to myself that it will just be a try (it’s scary to get home at 3 in the morning especially for someone who is 19 and still doesn’t have her license). If anything follows, why yes.. why not.

And there went my interview. Terrified of everyone, I sat down very quietly in the corner waiting for the manager. Puzzled on the situation, I approached the table where the strippers sit and wait for people. Still terrified, I asked (very politely) who to see or where to wait. The lady who I assume to be one of the strippers, as well, very politely responded with “Oh, you just have to sit thee and they’ll pick you up. *smiles*.” I saw the other lady smiled too.

Then they came. There were two of them and I just have to emphasise how nice and cheerful they were to me.

Unlike the other interviews that I’ve had and failed, this one feels different. There were no fake shows like “we are a team growing together” or “when we go home, we become a better person because of what we are in this workplace.” There was no bullshit like that in a strip club interview.

So they welcomed me, asked me stuff like what I do in life and why I chose to apply. Very proudly and gracefully, I told them my fondness of delving to what feels like uncommon to many people because life is too great to not make something different and a few lies. Straight after, the manager told me what the hostess and receptionists do and how the strip area works. The money that comes in, lap dances, etc..

And then the most exciting bit….

I went to the floor where strippers put make up on, fix their hairs and wear lingeries. That exact moment seemed like a scene in the movie where the main character sees a whole new different world and she smiles thinking it’s a much better place to dwell in. Yes, it was one of the most fantastic encounters – me and the strip club room. There were some strippers who were busy but still welcomed me as if I work there. Someone even reached for my hair and said, “Wow, you’re hair is so long.” Her, touching my hair was majestic. Strippers are a bunch of welcoming and nice people. Here and there, I saw smiles.

I exited the place and talked to the front receptionist. She didn’t do any stripping and she wished me luck and hoped to be seeing me working there.

That was the first best interview that I’ve had.

Diary and Birthdays.. My Birthday!

FEBRUARY 2

I’ve been watching GIRLS for the longest time. I won’t deny that like almost everyone, I consider everything that these girls do and say and feel relates with me. Recently, the episode was all about Hannah, the main character’s, birthday. There in the birthday episode, there’s one line that I felt very closely acquainted with..

I’ve always had terrible birthdays. It’s kind of my thing.

Yep. I do.
When I turned 17, we were at the beach because some parental, despite my slight antipathy of the beach, chose to go there for the sake of belongingness. On my most awaited 18th birthday, I wished to have a day / night out with my friends and family. It didn’t happen because earlier that week, my mood was set shattered by some event. Now that I’m days away from being 19, something terrible just happened which I assume would last until next week.

Am I cursed? Is it a kind of my thing now?
I hope not. I’d like to think not.

I am really up for blaming someone for all these semi-troubled birthdays. But I just can’t.. Birthday, as my favourite event in my life, was meant to be happy and filled with gratefulness. My day is one of the few times of the year that only I get out of my miserable emotional cave.

But I just can’t..
But it’s okay because at least, I woke up and wow I’ve lived another year.

FEBRUARY 5

Like what I had in mind, the terrible thing is still going on. But hey, my sister and mum bought me a $5 cake from the nearest grocery shop and guess what.. it’s the best cake that I’ve had for a year. A cake made in diamonds is nothing against the cake that these amazing people had bought me in the middle of my distress, in my joyful birthday.

Here’s to more years!

XO
C

Return: Interviews and Stuff

After the long internet breakdown, I’m finally back to tell some stories!

I dread the day of my first ever official job interview. The experiences and interviews that I’ve had before were no nerve-wrecking because I was under 18. Being under that range of 18+ feels like the real thing.

The morning of tat day, I woke up very early and turned up the volume of the music on my earphones thinking that it would pump up the day and set my mood right. I jogged and walked for 45 mins. like I usually do. After, I came home, had 10-min. rest and prepared myself.

CRAP, I’M GONNA BE LATE. I thought. I calculated the time and still had that idea in mind.
Despite my 2-hour preparation, I still managed to fail punctuality.
I was 2 minutes late but it was unnoticed because the session hasn’t started yet and everyone’s still being friendly.

I sat down with the other applicants whom I felt so terrified of because of their prepared looks. Ohhh, and I even forgot to brush the last portion of my hair. What else? I wore funnily-matched clothes and my cardigan didn’t fit the colour of my top. Now, I’m just gonna assume that the fashionista guy in that interview was judging me to the bones.

As the group interview went, I vibe everyone as very enthusiastic and knowledgeable. I, on the contrary, was like a silenced radio — to talkative in many instances, quiet in this one. I did show the interest and enthusiasm but the others were just too overpowering. But one thing that I couldn’t deny was that they’re a bunch of friend human beings.

At the end of it, I already set my mind and expectations. I’m not gonna get this job. Naturally, I’m a pessimist but I based this conclusion on what I saw in my performance.

Well, better luck and cool next time.