What Defines You?

“I used their negativity to light my fire to keep going. Use that.”
– Lizzie Velasquez

I make it a part of my day (or sometimes week) to read and watch articles and clips that will help me relax, feel fulfilled and be inspired.
As I scroll down Huffington Post’s facebook page, this post titled ‘Labeled ‘World’s Ugliest Woman,’ Motivational Speaker Turns Hate Into Love’ instantly caught my attention as I have this really almost cringe-y, trembling, unexplainable feeling whenever I see the word “ugly.” I feel this sudden urge to roll my eyes when someone regards someone as “ugly.” Without a second, I clicked through the link and there were my feelings,  – both happy and sad, and a million of other emotions. Happy that I met this gem, Lizzie Velasquez, a motivational speaker and the lady on the video that I watched, who gave me a more open thought of who and what should define me as a person. Sad about the bullies and sadder that I was, for some time in my life, one of them. A million of other emotions that the hundreds of emoticons on my phone can’t even explain. One of which is my thought of electing Lizzie as my best friend because she has a good hair and she likes it.

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Women Have A Choice

It feels slightly awkward for a young person to talk about this. What the heck.
Not my story but thought I was going to share. Worry not, nobody knows and she probably doesn’t mind.

An elder friend of mine has a younger brother, around the age of 25. Unexpectedly, her brother already has 2 kids for the last 2 years. Another unexpected event: there’s another one coming up. Happy happy, lots of baby! It wasn’t for the situation being. His brother is a freelancer and only earns enough to feed the family. The baby was a blessing but it is yet another life to feed, another child to invest money on.

So, isn’t it happy? Is this about getting a job for the man? NO.
My friend, as his elder sister, advised the couple not to have one until they both land a good job and fix their lifestyle. Now, there will be another one. It upset my friend. By the way, they are really close and the younger brother is quite naive in terms of having a family and all that.

Who did my friend blame about the pregnancy? The mother.

Okay. Let’s set aside the responsibility of raising a child.
I don’t understand my friend. Her argument was, “It was (younger brother’s partner’s name) fault. She shouldn’t have let herself got pregnant on the first place. Now what?” The blame that people are putting upon women is ridiculous.
Yep. ‘Cause she makes baby on her own. She doesn’t need sperm or anything so it doesn’t really matter if the male lacks knowledge when it comes to having intercourse.

I’m not saying that pregnancy is something bad but for the circumstance, it was needed to be controlled.
Firstly, education. WHAT EVEN???? Need I say more?
Second, woman should be able to reach for help when it comes to this. She is the one giving birth. She should know that she has options.

Have I mentioned that they both live in the a developing country, a place where giving a woman a choice about birth had been a dilemma for the past months? Gladly, the bill was already approved but that’s something I should leave now. It’s been done.

It’s not always the female’s fault. It sounds scary to choose what is better but at the end of the day, it is ours who will ultimately benefit from it.
I wish the young couple the best.

A Short Post: Celebrities

Not all celebrities are beauty queen tall. Think twice, not everyone in Hollywood have that certain height range to look and be as beautiful as what we see them.

Here are some of the big names who belong in my height category.

1. Anna Kendrick


(c) fanzee.com

She is 5 – 5’1 tall. I thought of her as being 5’2 but she wasn’t.

2. Vanessa Hudgens


(c) gotceleb.com

The girl who made up my early teenage life is standing around 5’1. She is an absolute talent.

3. Lady Gaga


(c) idolator

The “Mother Monster” has a frame of a 5’1. Gaga is such a proud advocate of her size. Just recently, she posted a photo of her body, talked about it and how she overcome the anxiety of having an eating disorder. She may be portrayed differently in other aspect but Stefani Germanotta (her real name) is a true inspiration when it comes to confidence in body image.

4. Amy Poehler


(c) fashionmagazine247

The comedienne, woman activist stands at 5’2. Looks very stunning and awesome at that physique!

5. Avril Lavigne

(c) Desiree Stimpert

(c) Desiree Stimpert












The lady rocker is of 155cm. It doesn’t look evident on TV, does it?

Body Image and I

Body image has been a well-tackled yet an unanswered subject. We all talk about it yet we are not ready enough to face the fact that we are still pulled by the portrayal of the media about real sexiness, beauty and most of all, happiness.

A few years ago, I put myself in 38 kg. because I thought that being this small also demands for a body so skinny. I was completely wrong, an ignorant if you’re harsh. Did I make a good of myself? I felt amazing that time because I felt that “I belong” but it didn’t give my body any good. Those late nights that my tummy screamed, those days when I felt very uneasy because I was filled with nothing but water and a platelet of energy, I gave this body a suffering. Soon after, I researched on the things that could happen because I couldn’t take this lifestyle any further. I’ve read and watched videos about Dukan diet, the most mainstream back then. It was good, I thought because some celebrities follow it. I’ve gotten so much in social media and read about these stuff about being proud and fat, awesome and small, more and more digital empowerment. I had that moment (not a light bulb) when I thought, stop pushing yourself. Just stop. From there then, I thought, maybe Dukan is not the best for me. After all, I’m not a celebrity. After all, I love food as much as I should love this body.
It was the start of me not caring about my image but my health. A beginning of a Ceejay so awesome and small.

I follow blogs and people who share their thoughts and support to body image. I love those guys.
However, as I was looking up on people who are specifically have a great stance on being small, I didn’t see much. I’ve had a few, though (or I just didn’t search enough?). So I thought, maybe I could add on that few.

So… I, Ceejay, a lady born with a fun size, pledge to stand up with short people, with those who sometimes don’t get recognised in front of a restaurant counter because they’re way too small, with those people who wear high heels don’t feel awkward and most of all, with those people who think that any size, with healthy mind and being, is amazing.

Let’s all share life’s true meaning of beauty and being happy.