Is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy?

As asked by the January 3 feature of the Daily Post.

Admittedly, I have too many dishonest personal occurrence but to answer this question, I guess it ultimately depends upon the person.
Honesty is the best policy..? What about the lies that needed to be covered up? That needed a white coating because underneath that lie is a good intention?
Too honest? I think anyone who doesn’t tell a lie is a neutral person.

What Defines You?

“I used their negativity to light my fire to keep going. Use that.”
– Lizzie Velasquez

I make it a part of my day (or sometimes week) to read and watch articles and clips that will help me relax, feel fulfilled and be inspired.
As I scroll down Huffington Post’s facebook page, this post titled ‘Labeled ‘World’s Ugliest Woman,’ Motivational Speaker Turns Hate Into Love’ instantly caught my attention as I have this really almost cringe-y, trembling, unexplainable feeling whenever I see the word “ugly.” I feel this sudden urge to roll my eyes when someone regards someone as “ugly.” Without a second, I clicked through the link and there were my feelings,  – both happy and sad, and a million of other emotions. Happy that I met this gem, Lizzie Velasquez, a motivational speaker and the lady on the video that I watched, who gave me a more open thought of who and what should define me as a person. Sad about the bullies and sadder that I was, for some time in my life, one of them. A million of other emotions that the hundreds of emoticons on my phone can’t even explain. One of which is my thought of electing Lizzie as my best friend because she has a good hair and she likes it.

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Looking Back

January 2 feature of The Daily Post was about progress, progress that my blog will have when I look back at it on the same month and date in 2015.

Well, let me just tell you first a brief and blurry view that I see.
January 2, 2015.
I’m rejoicing because I don’t have to bother on lots of things. Break from uni, good time with the family. I am still blogging and in 2015, I’d probably assure that I already bought a journal for the year.
I might be reading the book that I planned to finish months ago. I am still writing.

I’d like to see litlass.wordpress.com with a better writing articles, better feature and a very substantial posts. More Sherlock thoughts (which hopefully will happen because episode 3 is close and it’s another long wait for series 4), more thoughts for issues that I feel I’m involved with.
And photographs! ‘Cause yeah, I finally learn how to perfectly operate a manual camera.

To be honest, the things that I’ve listed are pretty shallow.
I hope that’s acceptable.

Magic

Sooooo…. Catching up on the The Daily Post. Luckily, I’m a day ahead from where the blog is from so here’s a hooray for giving my laziness a favour.

SO I HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A MYSTICAL BEING WHO HAS THE ABILITY TO DO MAGIC.

First thing I would do is to correct other people from saying leviosa to le-viosa. Wow. So much for originality.

What if I could go invisible and just go places? I would probably be a criminal for a good cause – the Robin Hood type.
I am in Asia, a felon philanthropist. I take food from shops and give it to the the street kids who look like they have not had a single piece of bite for the past 10 hours. I look for secondhand blanket to offer the homeless. I may not offer the warmth that someone could offer, I could at least give a piece of cover which may appear as their shelter. I would take money from the corruptly rich and distribute it equally for the poor. The deserving one, of course.

What if I can teleport? I can travel from Bali to Santorini whenever I want a me time. I can see the people whom I long see. 

This is not a post about wanting power. It’s about magic.

Things I Am Looking Forward To (Myself Edition)

1. A year of less depressing and anxious feelings
2013 has been filled with ups and downs – just like the other years but this one was more intense. It was the year when I felt like giving up the plans that I have made, the wishes I was working hard for and the experiences that I was hoping to go into. At the last bit of my giving up stage, I had a held of something that pushed me away from feeling less of myself, something that pulled me back to being the person who should keep going.
2013 was the year when I was placed in the terrible place of depression and anxiety, a place where dissatisfaction was both my friend and enemy, and what felt like only myself, my bed and my corner is the sanctuary.
To this new beginning, I let go of the stress, worry and insecurity that kept me from seeing the light from far beyond.

2. Let go of fear
“If you wanna be a bender, you have to let go of fear.” as said by the last airbender, Aang. Fear is also something that keeps me away from giving out the best inside me. The fear of being judged, the fear of the unknown.
I don’t wanna be that person again. Someone who backs off because of being terrified by something. It’s time to give things a try and pursue the better.

3. Stop apologising
It is my common ill to say ‘sorry.’ Literally, I’ll stop apologising. Figuratively, I will stop too. I will quit being sorry for my attributes that don’t pass the criteria of the media. But also, I will never forget to know my limit. For the events that I have committed mistakes or caused a disrespectful action, I will definitely take responsibility and say sorry.

4. Actually stick to the schedule
I don’t want my day to feel like a routine or my entire life to be a game plan but I guess, to things that are really important, I have to mark the calendar and set my things straight by doing a schedule. This not-following-the-schedule problem has been going on for a few years now. Change will be on top of the list.

5. Write! Write! Write!
I wish to write and be heard someday. Might as well practice as early as now.

Happy 2014!

A Boy

My brother and I were never too close. We either like the same subject, talk like normal siblings or just feel like regular people interacting with each other. Though I wish that we were closer, I realised that he is after all, a boy who needs to learn by himself and cope up with the phase he is going through. And no matter how closely related we are, I have to admit that it was my mistake to think that we don’t have to share any boundaries at all.

 Basically, our day goes with morning stares before he goes to school and afternoon smiles as soon as he gets home. Sometimes, we piss off each other but the angriest person always happens to be me. He won’t mind me. Even a single stare, he won’t give. That’s how numb he could get whenever we’re inside a certain rare fight.

 During holidays, us three bond together by watching movies, fooling around or making an unstructured blanket fort.

 It does sound like a great relationship but to me, it felt like it wasn’t. I was too consumed by the fact that I should be the boss for his words and emotions.

I wish he would tell us what he’s up to. I wish he would not wait for us to ask if he needs help for his assignments. I wish he had told us (rumour has it) that he friendzoned a girl named Chloe. I wish he would confide about his 13-year-old male dilemmas.

He never does.

 

What basically happens for the rest of his day feels like a routine: he would look at his school stuff and then hop on to his XBOX and play with his virtual friends from different parts of the world. He made a friend from Fiji whom, thankfully, he tells stories about. Unlike my younger sister, he doesn’t usually start a “you know what..” or “what happened to your…” conversation. At times, he would tell us stories but it never felt enough for me.

 

Only after a decade and a couple of years have I understood that his feelings, as I think of mine as well, is his own and should not be compromised by anyone. I’ve gone far too much in hoarding his emotional and social state. Maybe this isn’t a male-female difference but a person-person choice.

 

He’s probably growing up and I couldn’t be any happier seeing him see things from a perspective.

 After 13 years, I fully understood that having a brother could feel different different but is actually quite a privilege.

First Months

Though I’m really excited to start the uni life next year, I feel like after everything (preposterously enough), I’ll still be that person who puts shit jargon inside sentences just so it will sound better.

No, I don’t want to write a book. I do, however, want to tell, share and create stories. Well, in essence, a semi-book but different because it’s not 100+ pages and compiled. Okay. I want something like a published blog; maybe a nicely done piece for an advertising agency pitch, or a regular script for a TV show, OR if lucky, a normal job at Al Jazeera.

I have never been to my first day but I had this instinct that my choices will either change immensely or not change at all when I reach the third  or fifth month. Either I’ll find it extremely hard and boring or I’ll force myself to work on it because I wanna keep going and it feels like I’m getting somewhere with what I’m doing.

I hope I enjoy the first three or five months.